Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Top Ten Reasons Why Apple Sucks More Than George Bush

I read this and had to share.

George W's presidency and Apple's trendy comeback will probably go down in history as one of the most baffling co-occurring mental illnesses in millennial American history. If I took a bet on who will leave a deeper hole in the growing emptiness of the American conscience, it would be evil iProduce for the win!

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1. iArrogance

Bush thinks he's a genius, but constantly reminds us he's not. Apple thinks they're geniuses, and you're a moron.

2. iNherently Evil

90% of the world hates Bush, and knows why. 90% of the world hates Apple, and they have no clue why.

3. iDesuetude

Bush can only serve eight years and despite his failures, his term will end - we can start anew. Apple's term has lasted 32 years and despite it's failures - it shows no signs of ending. There is no God and Apple killed Nietzsche.

4. iDiscrimination

Bush makes fat people richer. Apple bashes fat people on national television.

5. iCyborg

Bush sounds like a computer when he speaks. Steve Jobs makes love to computers while he speaks.

6. iVanity

Bush wants to conquer parts of the world in the name of defeating terrorism. Apple wants to name the entire world after it's favorite computer... for no reason at all.

7. Boredom iFactor

Bush's addresses can put you to sleep in under five minutes. Steve Jobs' addresses make you want to poke out your eyes, tear off your ears, and hit yourself in the kidneys after 60 grueling minutes.

8. iDeficit

Bush wants us to spend hundreds of billions of dollars to repair Iraq. Apple wants us to spend hundreds of billions of dollars to replace our rectangle iPods with square ones.

9. iUgliness

Bush dresses like a stiff capital pig. Apple representatives dress like members of the Blue Man Group.

10. iWarming

Bush's decisions make lands far far away overheat. Apple makes everything in your house overheat.

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Sad thing is, George Bush probably can't even operate a Mac.

 

*Posted by thegecko

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